Crackney Houston is at it again with her “One Wish” for Christmas. Tracks include:

1. The first time bobby hit me (call 911)

2. The crackmas song (Crack rocks roasting on a kitchen stove)

3. Bobby’s kids ain’t getting shit from me this year.

4. One pipe (Encore)

5. O hell to the naw!

6. I’m not doing this today bobby clause!

7. Deck the halls/silent pipe

8. Have yourself a Merry little Crackmas

9. O come O come Street Pharmacist

10. Who could Imagin Bobby got a job

11. Joy to the white snow crank

12. All i want for crackmas is crackflakes.

13. Smoking on the dock of the bay ( getting high on crackmas day)

14. Do you smoke what I smoke?

Whitney’s message for you this holiday:

Currently Listening to…



Side A:

• All I Want for Christmas is my Legitimacy
• Rudarkness, the Emo Reindeer
• I’ll Be Home For Christmas, In My Room (So Leave Me The F*ck Alone DAD!)
• Violent Night
• I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa-Claus, Like The Lame Suburban Whore She Is
• A-Wasted in a Manger
• I Puked on Baby Jesus
• Deck the Malls (with boys at Hot Topic)
• The Little Drummer Boy is So Hot, So I Gave Him a BJ.

• Do You Hear What I Hear, Bitch?
• Avril We Have Heard You’re High
• All I Want for Christmas is My GED
• Come Rest Ye Here Merry Gentleman (On my face)
• I Won’t Be Home for Christmas, So Keep Cryin’ Mom
• Mary Did You Know I Can Kick Your Ass?
• Meli Kamuthafucka (Hawaiian)
• 12 Days of Christmas in Canada (Frostbite remix)

No joke. Avril Lavigne is really planning on releasing a Christmas album.  Best Week Ever came up with some funny possible Christmas song titles:

• All I Want for Christmas is my Legitimacy
• Rudarkness, the Emo Reindeer
• I’ll Be Home For Christmas, In My Room (So Leave Me The F*ck Alone DAD!)
• Violent Night
• I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa-Claus, Like The Lame Suburban Whore She Is
• A-Wasted in a Manger
• I Puked on Baby Jesus
• Deck the Malls (with boys at Hot Topic)
• The Little Drummer Boy is So Hot, So I Gave Him a BJ.

I thought these were hilarious so I decided to write some of my own:

• Do You Hear What I Hear, Bitch?
• Avril We Have Heard You’re High
• All I Want for Christmas is My GED
• Come Rest Ye Here Merry Gentleman (On my face)
• I Won’t Be Home for Christmas, So Keep Cryin’ Mom
• Mary Did You Know I Can Kick Your Ass?
• Meli Kamuthafucka (Hawaiian)
• 12 Days of Christmas in Canada (Frostbite remix)

Okay maybe mine aren’t as funny. What kind of song titles do you think she should have?